Lost in time
A little stroll across the memory lane
One of my favorite things is walking around my hometown. It’s a small one, a round-trip walk takes about 6kms, less than a hour if you walk a bit faster than usual.
Whenever I do it, the memories flow like a river. The old arcade bars where we used to play video games in the weekend, the computer shop where I first tried and Amiga 500 and bought games for my Commodore 64, the small newsstand where I bought comics and other magazines, even records later!
Many places are gone for good. And still, I love passing by those closed shutters and thinking about my youth, my friends, all the silly things we did together. All the dirt-bike rides across the city center, jumping the sidewalks, all the freedom only a carefree little boy can feel.
Many childhood friends of mine have moved away in years, including my best friend, who’s always a brother to me. We all meet at least once a year, during the summer or the holiday season, and it’s like time never passed.
My best friend’s parents live in front of the city playground, right behind the main street. I used to take my daughter there when she was little, and I keep passing by that zone during my strolls.
And I can’t help missing my friend. I’m almost 44, and I start feeling old. More and more, I get lost in time, in memories, and sometimes nostalgia hurts. My kid is growing older, and she doesn’t go to the playground anymore, except in the summer where we join a group of parents of my daughter’s class for a quick dinner and a beer at the inner food stand, while the kids play together.
Even if this little town is cozy and comfortable enough, there’s no much more to do here. Sometimes it feels a bit ‘tight’, although it’s a good place to live, especially when you have a 9 year old daughter and want to keep her safe and let her grow in a serene environment.
Yes, in time I’ve made some new friends and acquaintances, but it’s not the same. Boardgames helped me connecting again with old friends, like Joe - a very good friend I’ve known since forever, and meeting new people, but you know, I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anybody?
And now we’re all dads, workers, busy persons scattered across Italy (and Europe too), and I miss them so much.
Easter holidays are coming and, even though I am not a religious person at all, I can’t wait for them because it means I’ll meet some of my old buddies for a pizza or a barbecue, if weather allows.
These are other ‘small things’ I try to enjoy and focus on to stay positive. Loneliness and feeling lost often affect my mental health but I try to enjoy my days, even if sometimes it’s hard.
In this moment of my life where I keep on second-guessing anything and questioning my entire existence, my friends, my family, my little kid are the staples, my safe harbor.
I hope you can enjoy yours too.
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